This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
