we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize