You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
