Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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