How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
