my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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