I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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