Can Purell be used as lube?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize