sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
