i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Life is so much better after having sex.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
