What a fucking waste of an outfit
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
