i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
