Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
