Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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