my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is my gift to your gina
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
