I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
