found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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