Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize