Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
