Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
