Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
