The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
