im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You're like the curious george of whores
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
