The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just want nice things and good sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
