reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
