gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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