I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
