Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize