I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
