Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
