i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
