Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
