you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
