I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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