is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize