my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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