I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
