oh god the rape fog is back!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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