Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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