He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
