Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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