That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
