You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
