I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize