how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
