I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
