O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
