dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
