i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
