Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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