OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
