the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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