Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
