He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Pooping to opera.
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