I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
