ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
