Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
