Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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