You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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