Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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