I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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