I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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