dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
