i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
